Jean Havoc and the Infamous Romance Novel
by Gemonie03
Summary: So, Havoc's in the hospital and his mother keeps bringing him books to keep him occupied. The new one just so happens to be a romance novel with unusually familiar characters. Rating for part of the novel that is read. Brotherhood verse. Not a pairing between Havoc and Breda.


**Oh God, never write fanfiction at 5am it only leads to this. I couldn't stop laughing but I'm rather certain that it's not funny. IDK.. you guys can do what you will with it.**

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Havoc sighed. He'd been lying awake for three hours and not a single nurse had come to check on him. His back was getting sore from lying down and he was hoping for a pain killer for the throbbing in his abdomen. Sure, the wound was almost healed, but it still ached where muscles had yet to fully repair themselves. He was also pretty sure that someone was supposed to come and help him relieve himself, even if he couldn't feel it.

By the time eight o'clock rolled around he was pretty miserable. The nurse had finally done her job and he was comfortably propped up, but the doctor had lowered the dosage on his pain meds and the new ones didn't give him quite the affect he was hoping for. He wanted a cigarette, or five, but the nurse had politely informed him that it was too early in the morning for him to be disturbing the other patients with his smoke. He had growled at that, actually growled. He was feeling more useless than usual today. In fact he was beginning to wonder if everyone had just forgotten about him. It wouldn't come as a surprise considering his current state. He knew he wasn't any fun to be around considering the declining state of his mood as well as his inability to leave his bed without help.

With a heavy sigh he listened to his stomach grumble as he reached over to the night stand to grab the newest novel his mother had left in his possession. Another dime store romance novel. He hated these things and he couldn't believe that she kept leaving them for him. What did she think she was accomplishing by leaving them there? Other than making him oddly horny and rather sick to his stomach, all they did was make him realize what he'll never have. Havoc closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened to the first page.

_Every morning felt exactly the same to Rio Falconwing…_

Havoc couldn't do this. Who names these people? Jean pinched the bridge of his nose before thumbing through to a more promising page.

_Rio's large breasts heaved with a deep breath as Col. Stallion's broad hands ran down her shoulders. She couldn't believe her luck in finding him here at this ball and to have him corner her was even luckier. His intense gaze locked on to her seemingly innocent one before carefully inching its way down to her bountiful bosom. He wanted nothing more than to lay hands on her, strip her down and use her body for his own pleasure and she wanted nothing more than to let him. _

"Okay, I get it, get on with it!" Havoc groaned. How do people read these things? "Okay Jean, you can get through this. It's just something to do while you wait for someone to come save you from this infinite boredom," again he took in a deep breath.

_The colonel grabbed her wrist and forcefully pulled her to him. She could feel the heat of his body against her own. A shiver ran through her body as he ripped the ties of her corset from their eyelets. The rest of her dress and her undergarments were easy enough to rid her of, using his special brand of alchemy. Rio groaned as he cupped one large breast in a rough, calloused hand. She shuddered as his thumb ran over a perky nipple. Everything she had worked for was coming to fruition. _

_The alchemist tipped her chin up with his unoccupied hand and finally took her lips with his own. His tongue slipped past her lips to tangle with her own. She didn't hesitate to let him dominate the kiss. The blonde could feel his smirk against her lips and it sent shivers of anticipation down her spine. The colonel broke the kiss only to trail his hot, smooth lips down her neck to her chest. He took one nipple into his mouth; licking and suckling like a child. She moaned his name as he gave the same treatment to the other side. While he worked her breasts with his mouth he slid his hand down her stomach to her mound. He slid his fingers between her lips and circled her pleasure peak before dipping into her core. _

"_My, my you are an eager little thing, aren't you?" Stallion's husky voice was music to her ears. "Say my name, beg me to take you," he rasped in her ear._

_She whimpered. _

"_Please," he thrust his fingers into her, causing her breath to hitch in her throat, "Please, Stallion, Ronald, take me!" she cried out as he teasingly stroked her._

"_As you wish, my lady," that smirk spread across his face once again as he quickly removed his clothes before tackling her to the floor. _

_Her lips found his and her hands found his already hardened member. He groaned into the kiss as she stroked him, gently, before guiding him to her core. He could feel her heat and paused only for a moment before thrusting home. They both screamed in ecstasy as he buried his enormous length deep within her._

Havoc jumped, tossing the book across the room, as the door to his hospital room opened and Breda stepped through it.

"Reading? I wasn't reading!" Jean practically yelled.

His coworker blinked dumbly at him.

"Okay, how ya doin' buddy? I think you've snapped," the other soldier was truly puzzled as he took a seat on the stool next to the hospital bed.

"It's probably just the lack of nicotine putting me on edge, nothing to worry about!" Havoc could feel his cheeks heating as he tried to put on his best grin.

"Wait, what's that?" Breda was pointing to the novel that had landed on the window sill.

Havoc panicked.

"It's nothing! I swear! My mother brought it by! Don't pick it up! It's probably awful!" the lieutenant tried to grab for his best friend as the other man walked around the bed and picked up the discarded book. He wished he had the use of his legs so he could run from the room screaming.

"Hey! This is the new Stallion novel! These things are really hard to come by! You say your mom brought this?"

Jean Havoc's eyes went wide with shock as he stared at Heymans.

"Yes, she did, are you telling me you read these things?"

"Hell yes I read them! Colonel Ronald Stallion is an amazing military strategist and Rio Falconwing is hotter than hot! I heard somewhere that they finally hook up in this one! You gotta let me borrow it! Falman and Fuery will be so jealous!"

"Wait, they read this stuff too?"

"Fuery's the one that got me into the series! It's amazing! I've read all fourteen that you can get without being put on a waiting list but the book store has this one on back order for the next few months! Can I please borrow it? Please?" Breda was practically begging by now.

"I guess so. Just make sure you bring it back. I don't know if ma's read it yet," Havoc couldn't say no to that face.

"Yes!" Breda was practically jumping with glee. "Just wait till Feury and Falman find out I got my hands on the new Elizabeth la Queen book!"

"Elizabeth la Queen, huh," Jean rubbed his stubble covered chin, "that name sounds awfully familiar."

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**I told you I'm not funny, but sometimes I think I am when I'm sleep deprived. Thanks for reading.**


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